Tagged with parenting

Moment of Success/I’m Tired


Today was an exceptionally tiring day.  I worked, I went to my internship, then I took Truman to get his hair cut and to get his picture taken for his passport. My BFF was in town and I didn’t even have time to hang out with him!

I took Truman to get his haircut at Birds, because if I went anywhere else, they would take my Hipster Mom membership card away.  I was really worried that he would cry the entire time, but he was really good!  He just stared out the window and watched cars go by, and maybe, perchance, yes perhaps, the lollipop I gave him helped.

So here is a moment from my day.  Haircut success! Before and after.  He looks so dapper, just call him Mr. Darcy.

haircut



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Weekly Photo Challenge: Together


This is a rare photo of us all together as a family.  I’m usually the one behind the camera, trying to take a picture of Truman and drink a beer at the same time.  It was taken on Easter weekend at my parent’s ranch.  I really like this picture because Chad isn’t making a ridiculous face, and it looks like I have gay dandruff.

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::HIGH FIVE:: I have a son!


Boys are a rarity in my family, and I didn’t expect to have a one. When the sonographer pointed out Truman’s little doink on the ultrasound, I was shocked, then baffled, then finally–elated.  A BOY, do what now?!? The idea of having a son never once crossed my mind.  As I thought about it though, I realized that it made COMPLETE SENSE.  Chad once told me that I look like a 12 year old boy, dress like a 12 year old boy, and act like a 12 year old boy.  Now, I don’t know what that says about his taste in women, but it tells me that I was meant to bro down with a son. Thanks to Facebook timeline, which I actually like because I can scroll through and find all the hilarious things I’ve ever said, I found this post I announcing Truman’s sex:

And hence, the prophecy has been fulfilled. A male heir has been graced upon the Evans Clan. Ser Chadrick is beside himself with mirth, thrilled at the thought of mentoring a young squire. Three cheers for young Truman, three cheers!

Three cheers indeed.  Never mind that he got mistaken for a girl four times last week.  So now, without a proper segue, I offer you a few reasons why I am glad I have a son.

  • In a few years  T will be able to sport a super rad Tony Hawk skater cut.  
http://cutcutpaste.wordpress.com/category/skateboarding-is-awesome/

SWOOOOON.

Chad rocked this haircut during the one of the most pivotal times of a boy’s life, ages 9-12. I didn’t know him then, but if I did, boy howdy would I have had the HUGEST crush on him.   11 year old Letty would have died at the mere sight of him nonchalantly brushing  his floppy blond hair out of his eyes.  I can’t wait for Truman’s cool period.  Chad is reluctant to bequeath his old Vision Street Wear cap with the brim flipped up, but he can pass down his awesomeness. Just for fun, courtesy of The Alamo Basement, a picture of the Pizza Hut truck from Gleaming the Cube.

  • Having a son gives me the perfect excuse to get a reptile.

In the third grade I had a pet newt, which I cleverly named Bob Newthart.  I will be the first to admit  it was not a very exciting pet. It just sat there.  Looking back, I probably should have gone with a more active amphibian, like a frog.  I wish I newt then what I newt now.  :/  Now that I have a son, I can totally get a snake! Or a turtle! Or even better–A CHAMELEON!  Herpetology gets me so pumped up I have to use fragments to express my glee. For the record, if I had a daughter I would use her just as well as an excuse to buy a reptile.  Child=reptile in my twisted mind.  On a side note, did you read about the snake that grew a hand? NO THANK YOU.

  • I can make Truman wear seersucker suits.  

OMG

I love seersucker suits.  I CANNOT WAIT TO PUT TRUMAN IN A SEERSUCKER SUIT.  I also love suspenders, plaid pants, and bow ties. Basically I want Truman to run around looking like a dapper southern gentleman who enjoys Mint Juleps.  Capote much?  I also wish Andre 3000 made clothing for children.  I want Truman to look so fresh and so clean, clean.  BTW, you can purchase a variety of seer sucker suits at Dapperlads, a name that makes me happy on several different levels.

I actually have several more reasons why I am grateful for the boy but I am hungry and I want to eat a burger*.  So to sum shit up, I am glad I have a son–especially one that is this damn cute:

*this post was written yesterday around 6 pm, AKA Burger Time.  I unfortunately do not have a burger to eat right now at 10:30 am, this may change in a few hours.

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The Annoying Kid in Class


One of my greatest parenting fears is that my son will grow up to be an annoying little creep, and I won’t know it because I will be BLINDED BY LOVE.  Yeah, I said it.  I feel like it is a legit concern.  Having worked with kids for over ten years,  I have met more than my fair share of irritating children.  I have also met some awesome kids, but because I am a grouch, the former outweigh latter.

I want Tru’s company to be enjoyed by both children AND adults.  That means the words, “I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you.” shall never pass his lips.  :: mimes shooting self in the head::.  He is also not allowed to do that thing, that little boys particularly enjoy doing, where they mimic every thing you say.  I swear to god if he ever does that to me I will just push him over.

Those are only two examples of behavior I find annoying.  See also, being loud for no apparent reason and being disrespectful to adults. He is allowed to say, “I know you are, but what I am?”, and “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” ; or any variety of catch phrases from the 80′s and 90′s.  All in moderation of course.

I do not mind if Tru grows up to be the weird kid in class.  Just as long as no one gets hurt.  There was a weird girl in my elementary school named Tabitha (not her real name, I don’t know if her weirdness has amped up to point of stalking people from elementary school) that really liked kicking her legs, and one time she kicked so hard her shoe flew onto the roof of the school and the janitor had to climb up and retrieve it.  Another time she kicked her shoe off and it traveled the entire span of the cafeteria and hit Randall Peters in the face.  I am not even going to go into the kid in the third grade who accidentally wore his dad’s pants to school.  I have to get off this tangent train.

Now, being the weird kid is class is tricky.  The weird kid and the annoying kid are not always mutually exclusive.  It is a very fine line between weird and annoying.  Trust me, it is a line that I, myself, have walked many a time. But, if Truman wants to burst out in a Tears for Fears songs in the middle of a geography lesson or try to single handedly bring back wearing backwards clothing, go for it kid.  If he’s the nerdy kid, the kid who only brings a pen to class, or even the smelly kid (Chad went through a spell as the smelly kid in class because he didn’t like to wear socks, it’s a quick fix really.), that’s TOTALLY fine.  He just can’t be the annoying kid in class.

That is reasonable, right?  Am I being irrational?  Truman is already the most chillaxed baby ever, so I am not terribly concerned, but you never know.  Around the age of two he could pass over to the dark side and we may never get him back.  He might become the Jar Jar Binks of Austin. To prevent this, he will just have to keep hanging out with awesome people who can guide him in the right direction.  People who can be honest with him and tell him how many fart sounds is one too many.  Only then, will the universe be at peace.

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Beardo Missed Connection


Several months ago my husband and I were doing our weekly grocery shopping at HEB.  Truman was wee then and couldn’t sit up in the basket, so Chad was carrying him in our Infantino carrier.  As the boy dangled from his father, he slept peacefully. He looked absolutely precious and harmless, not at all dissimilar to a doped up koala bear.  Now, Chad is a large bearded man, and he has a fantastic beard.  His beard is gold, bushy, and to me at least, terribly luxurious.  He is like a modern day Viking, or Hernán Cortes (P.S.  I love that Hernán Cortes took Winston’s advice to Ray. It really stirs the Aztec in me.) So the combination  of this tiny bebe and this magnificent beard made quite the adorable spectacle and many admiring glances were cast in their direction.

While picking out yogurts (it takes me about thirty minutes to choose yogurt flavors, I am very indecisive.  It is one of my lesser qualities guys.) another bearded gentleman walked up to Chad and said, “I just gotta ask man, the beard, does the baby pull it?”  to which Chad replied, “No, not really.  But ask me again in a few months.”

It has been a few months.

Now Truman is ALWAYS pulling on Chad’s beard, and he is damn good at it.  He manages to grab just the right amount of hair in his tiny baby hands to inflict the worst pain possible. He does this snag and spin move that is actually quite impressive.   I am thinking of putting him on the pro circuit. Guy at the HEB, this is for you:

Beard Dude  HEB- M4M

YES, THE BABY PULLS THE BEARD.

photo by our awesome friend Chopper

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Baby Gang


Everybody is growing up and becoming REAL adults, and along with that comes babies.  It seems like several of my good friends have jumped on the Grown Up train and have popped out kids.  Just last Sunday my awesome friends Jason and Lola gave birth to our new defender of the universe, Bruce.  In addition, a few weeks ago another set of friends just gave birth to a little stallion named Lincoln.  Truman and Lincoln, presidential friends FOREVER!

What to do with all these bad ass baby boys?  Start a baby gang of course!  Truman gets to be the leader because he is the oldest, and will probably end up being the smallest.  He will be like Luther from The Warriors, but with baby bottles on his fingers instead of beer bottles.  ”Baaabbbies, come out an plaaaaaaay“.  I will do my best to ensure he will not meet Luther’s fate.  For those of you who have not seen The Warriors, don’t watch it.  Because then you won’t like it, and I will judge you.

The baby gang can be called The Cribs and they can rock these onesies:

psychobabyonline.com

It is totally a solid plan!  Fisher Price makes shivs, right?  The Cribs will spend their time loitering outside of Gymboree drinking apple juice out of paper bag covered sippy cups and harassing passersby with insulting baby babble.  Let me know if you are interested in joining The Cribs.  You have to be jumparooed in.  Poop in poop out.

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Sweet Berries


I almost entitled this post Strawbabies but I decided that was entirely too cloying.  It also brought about the frightening image of hunger crazed evil scarecrow offspring with a taste for human flesh.  ANYWAY, yesterday we went to Sweet Berry Farms to go strawberry picking!

I feel like I should be commended for going to a place called Sweet Berry Farms and not even once yelling, “SWEET BERRY WINE!”  like Dr. Steve Brule. FOR YOUR WINE.  I did say “pissed off” in front of my four-year-old niece and she latched on to the phrase like a starving  baby.  Mah bad!  Sorry Aunt Amanda, my mouth is not child proof yet.  Well, we picked some berries, Truman spent some much needed time with his cousins, I was introduced to some lovely ladies, and we met a goat!

This goat started singing Rhiannon minutes after this photo was taken.

Ah yes, good times had by all.  I can’t wait until Tru is older so he can fully appreciate the wonder of the day trip.  There are so many small towns around Austin that I am itching to explore.  Shit, we’ve got the whole entire WORLD to explore.

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My Son is a Deadhead.


In an ongoing effort to keep T from having terrible taste in music, his father and I play him records from our vinyl collection.  At six months old, he already has very discerning taste. For example, he doesn’t care for Ted Nugent, but he likes the Amboy Dukes (Nugent’s first band).  He loves Black Sabbath’s Paranoid, but he doesn’t like Never Say Die!, the last album featuring Ozzy as lead singer.  We’ve been through several Bowie albums and thoroughly enjoyed lazing on a Sunday afternoon with the Kink Kronikles.  But there are three albums that T particularly enjoys.

Rumors by Fleetwood Mac

Yeah, this is pretty much the best.

This is the Fleetwood Mac album that everyone owns.  This is the Fleetwood Mac album that everyone SHOULD own. There is not a bad song on this album, even “Oh Daddy” has grown on me.  I can get Truman to sleep by the middle of Side A, then I flip it over and listen to the other side just for my own personal enjoyment. If he manages to stay awake for Side B, he really loves it when we listen to “The Chain” and twirl around with a tambourine a la Stevie Nicks . Rumors is as if someone took a rainbow and pressed it to vinyl.  Thunder only happens when it rains indeed.

The Red Headed Stranger- Willie Nelson

We love you Willie!

Truman has listened to this album from the day he was born.  This is Dad Chad’s secret weapon in putting Baby T in a chillaxed mood.  At this point Truman has an almost Pavlovian response to this album.  From the opening guitar strains, his eyes slowly start closing and he is on the fast track to sleepytime village.  It would be downright criminal if Truman grew up not being a Willie Nelson fan.  This is not an exaggeration, it is Texas state law –THOU MUST LOVE WILLIE.

  •                                    American Beauty- Grateful Dead


Hands down this is Truman’s favorite album right now. It is probably Grateful Dead’s most popular and well known album.  That’s because it is overflowing with WIN, and just like Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors, there is not a bad song on the album.   I play it for him and he rolls around the carpet and grins. We listen to it almost every day.  I’m raising a little Deadhead! I am going to buy him some tie-dyed onesies and a baby hacky sack. We will drive around the country selling beaded necklaces out a van painted with dancing bears!  It is a fool proof plan! What can I say?  He has good taste in music.

Music education! YES!  I don’t have many obscure albums, magical bootlegs, or ~~deep cuts~~, just damn good music. I have to combat the fact that the number one hit when T was born was “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO.  o__o  So, what will we listen to next?  I finally picked up Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk and David Bowie’s Young Americans last weekend.  Tusk is a double album, we’ve got some listening to do.

https://twitter.com/#!/_MLC_

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Pooh-pooh to the Lorax movie


The new Lorax movie makes me angry.  Kid’s movies are something that I am notoriously grumpy–GET OFF MY LAWN–about. The only movies I plan to let Truman watch are The Garbage Pail Kids Movie and Little Monsters until it puts him off movies forever.  I jest, I jest.  It’s not that I don’t like any children’s movies, I just don’t like the rampant commercialism that comes with them. I was supremely irritated last year to see kids wearing Cars 2 shirts before the movie even came out.    Those kids were walking billboards for something they hadn’t even seen!  But I digress.  Here are a couple of reasons why I am pissed off about the new Lorax movie.  These are not new ideas, and probably a retread of things several people have already said but I still wanted to complain, because it is one of my favorite things to do:

  • The Lorax speaks for the trees, and for Mazda, and for Seventh Generation, and for HP, and for….

The Lorax has 70 product tie-ins! Some of the tie-ins are for eco-friendly products but IHOP?  Come on man!  How do you even eat this?

WAFFLE CONES + PANCAKES=SAVE THE TREES.

The idea of the Lorax shilling for Mazda makes my stomach hurt more than if I tried to eat the above pictured monstrosity.

  • The Voice Acting

Now this is more of a complaint about most modern animated films.  Do you remember when they used professional voice-over actors to voice the characters in animated films?  Can you tell me who voiced Belle in Beauty and the Beast?  No you cannot, but she did a hell of a good job.  It’s all a big gimmick now based on a popularity contest. While I admit that Zac Efron is decidedly dreamy, and Taylor Swift is adorable in her squinty eyed, surprised face kind of way, they do not have speaking voices that are anything special.  So why are they voicing main characters in a major animated film?  Let’s lure the kiddos in by having Justin Bieber be the voice of a talking barbecue pit! (I would probably watch that.) I know, I know, different actors have been voicing animated characters for years. For example, JTT was excellent as Simba, and Dom DeLouise (RIP) was awesome at everything he did. But Katy Perry as Smurfette–BARF.

  • 3-D

At the end of the trailer when he says “Now in TREE-D!”, it annoys the shit out me.  That is all.

I don’t know.  There are more reasons why this movie doesn’t sit well with me, but I am having a hard time expressing myself.  They are using the story’s core central message to make money.  It all just seems very synthetic and charmless, not at all like the original book.  This review pretty much sums it up better than I ever could. Truman and I are going outside now to enjoy this lovely weather.  Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

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