twenties | Making Love With Her Ego

Jul 24 2012

Ah yes, I made it. I am 30.

So this half assed retrospective was a success! I looked back fondly on my twenties. They were pretty chill! Of course there were low points, but no one has a perfect ten years. This brings me to my late twenties. I feel like I really came into my own in this time. I blossomed into the ~beautiful flower~ that I am now. I certainly stopped giving a shit about what people thought about me and basically said/did whatever I wanted. I am truly a NO LIMIT SOLDIER. ::rolls eyes::

I had the opportunity to travel. I went to Spain with my family which apparently there is no photographic proof of, and also went on a ladies’ road trip to Taos with my befri Keri, and my good friend Erin. We dubbed ourselves the Ladies of the White Sands and almost got our car stuck in a mud puddle in the middle of nowhere. We also went hiking up a mountain and I complained the entire time because, “I didn’t know it was going to be uphill.” I am a sharp one.

Around this time I also started playing with Music Learning Club. I love singing, and I love these fools. I consider them to be my second family.

Lavender finery

Here we are playing “You Can’t Hurry Love”. My parents watched this video and made fun of how dramatic I was. Little did they know that this was only our first song and I got a whole lot more unhinged. I am the David Lee Roth of MLC, y’all.

Now in my late twenties not only was I overflowing with obvious musical talent, but I possessed extraordinary athletic ability as well. Every Sunday I started playing kickball. I met a lot of wonderful people and drank a lot of beer. The following photo exemplifies my kickball talents:

There are things happening, and I am just standing there.

Kickball Fambly

Of course, of course we cannot discuss my late twenties without talking about the most important thing that happened–I started coloring my hair red. SIKE! Chad put a beautiful baby in my belly! I had a really smooth pregnancy and was, by my own admission, THE MOST ADORABLE PREGNANT WOMAN IN THE WORLD. I love my little family so much and at the risk of sounding mega cheesy, I feel incredibly lucky and count my blessings every single day.

HE HATES THESE GOURDS

Awwww. Anyway, today I am thirty. My ass instantly feels bigger and my boobs saggier. I jest, I jest. I feel fine. Due to melanin and great genes, I AM NEVER GOING TO AGE. The women in my family are blessed. The only thing I am concerned about is I have a deep wrinkle between my eyebrows because I am constantly cringing in disgust at everything. Maybe one of my goals for my third decade of life to become less JJJJ-ADED. Nah. I’ll just continue to judge the world as I see fit and get botox. It is also my dad’s birthday today. It has always made me feel special to share a birthday with my father. Happy Birthday Dad!

Buh, since this post is long enough, I will post jokes and pictures from my roast tomorrow. Hooray me! Hooray 30! Oh, also I am starting a new blog with my friend Kolleen, called Thirtysometeen, in which we watch teen melodramas and discuss them at length. It will be chock full of pithy commentary! I can’t wait.

Here are some bonus pictures!

Disney Princesses

I always have the best Halloween costumes, a tradition I am going to force upon Truman.

JUKEBOX HERO.

Tagged beautiful flower, david lee roth, kickball, memories, music, photo retrospective, photographic proof, thirty, travel, twenties, vacation

Jul 23 2012

My Mid-Twenties, Welcome to Austin!

We are back. I had an awesome weekend. I had a comedy roast to celebrate my upcoming birthday and boy howdy are my friends fantastic and wonderfully rude. I will share some pictures and jokes tomorrow. Let’s get back to the past. Chad and I moved from LA to Austin in the beginning of 2005. I missed my family but I didn’t miss them enough to actually move back to Corpus Christi, where we’re from, so we moved to Austin even though I had only been there once. It was a good choice. We love this stupid city and we’re never leaving.

My early years in Austin I had the pleasure of performing with the now sadly defunct theatre company, Yellow Tape Construction Company. The first play I did with them was I Love My Dead Gay Son: The Musical!, a musical based on the cult film Heathers. That shit was hilarious. We did a few other shows, a Christmas musical, one where we defeated the French with the power of Rock ‘N Roll, and space play where I had seven boobs. I should probably delve into the plays further, but I will leave them up to your imagination.

Ultimate Christmas Musical: The Musical! I made the cover of XL

I Am Not Tartuffe photo courtesy of Wiley Maercklien

Warpstar Sexysquad

In 2006 I met my best friend Bridget. We sealed our friendship at a Slip ‘N Slide party when I helped her into a pair of underwear in the middle of the street. Here is a photo from that fateful evening:

Alcohol may have been involved.

Bridget and I used to go dancing at the Beauty Bar on Wednesday nights when the had their soul night called Tighten Up. We used to get all fancied up and were widely considered to be the BEST DANCERS THERE. By the end of the night we would end up in the photo booth, and the results were always ridiculous. Alas, Bridget moved to Boston in 2009, but I am trying to woo her back.

I was a very convincing Purple Rain era Prince for Halloween.

Tomorrow I will cover my late twenties and share some jokes from my roast. Here is a bonus picture in which I don’t even know what the hell was going on.

Who knows?

Tagged drunk, photo booth, photo retrospective, theatre, twenties

Jul 18 2012

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It’s the Last Week of my 20′s blah blah blah pttth

So, next Tuesday I will be 30. Of course my 30th birthday has fall on a Tuesday, my most hated day of the week. I suppose I should use this time to look back on my 20′s and reflect on all the amazing times I had and how much I have grown as person. PTTTTTTTTTTTTTH. I honestly couldn’t care less. Oh, I’ve grown as a person all right, I am 2 cups sizes bigger than I was ten years ago. HEYO!

All terrible jokes aside, it was a good ten years. I got married, sold Morrissey a copy of Starsky & Hutch: Season 1, bought a house, and had a baby! I also made a lot of good friends, and have had the privilege of seeing a lot of those friends’ bare asses during late night swims. Over the next few days I shall present a photo retrospective of the previous decade of my life. Let’s start with ages 20 & 21, some of the photos may not be the best quality because I had to scan them:

Here I am young, chipper, and hanging out with a sailor on a bus bench. I am pretty sure those jeans are size 14 in girls, and I thought that hat was the cutest thing ever.